Are Andrew Garfield and I written in the stars?
Does our zodiac compatibility mean I should start shopping for wedding dresses?
There have been oodles and oodles of good movies lately, but it really feels like one thing is missing in Hollywood: chemistry. (Not you, Zoey Deutch and Glen Powell). And I miss it. So when I saw the super flirty interaction on the Golden Globes red carpet between actor Andrew Garfield and “Chicken Shop” creator Amelia Dimoldenberg that set the internet on fire, I, like just about the rest of the world, was captivated.
If you haven’t seen the clip yet (I’m only judging your online-ness a little), here you go:
Are you fanning yourself, too?
Seeing that clip, as a consumer of media, I was obsessed. As someone with a massive crush on Andrew Garfield, I was jealous. And as an Aquarius, I was… intrigued?
Andrew Garfield is an admitted astrology girlie. A Vanity Fair profile describes him as “an astrology-dabbling part-time L.A. resident.” He will rattle off his “big three” at the drop of a hat: Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Pisces rising; he says that combination makes him “crazy” and says, as a Leo man, the way to his heart is through flattery. Oh, Andrew, you handsome man, that’s so smart of you to say! He knows which star sign he doesn’t like (Virgo, because Virgos are control freaks). He talks in interviews about the chemistry he has with a co-star with a Cancer sun; as the apparent mother and father of the zodiac, Cancer and Leo combine for “a power unlike any seen before on this earth.”
And, as seen in the video with Dimoldenberg, he apparently knows about something called “synastry,” which, after some quick Googling, I can now say refers to relationship astrology. Just don’t ask me what that actually means. As Garfield says on the red carpet, “If you have a sun sign that’s the same as the moon sign of someone else…it’s good.” But he’s too afraid to pursue things with Dimoldenberg any further because he’s “scared of what it could turn into.”
Well, color me curious: Would Andrew Garfield and I then be compatible, too? Are we meant to be? Would I have that type of sizzling chemistry with him? Should I start looking for wedding dresses?
I know a cursory amount about astrology — I’m an Aquarius sun, Aries moon, Scorpio rising (exactly like Yara Shahidi; my sister’s big three are the same as Tom Hanks’) and have been told to avoid Geminis at whatever cost (sorry!) — but for my potential happily ever after, I strapped on my research goggles and prepared to do a deep dive to see whether Andrew Garfield and I are meant to be. According to the all-knowing stars, of course.
It turns out, in regard to synastry, Garfield knows what he’s talking about — which, as an Aquarius sun, means our relationship is on the right track. (Andrew, I’m between a size 6 and a size 7 ring, just FYI, so we might have to spend some time at the jewelry store.) Astrologer Liz Simmons told PopSugar people “may feel inexplicably drawn to someone if they have the same sun sign as our moon sign or vice versa.” Lisa Stardust said in Cosmopolitan: “It’s an intense energy, but what it really speaks to is longevity in relationships. It’s probably one of the best signs for astrological compatibility.”
That sounds good, right? My Aquarius sun and his Aquarius moon mean Andrew and I are going to understand each other on a deeply visceral level? We’re going to be that super duper obnoxious couple who knows exactly what the other is thinking without a word ever being spoken? We’re going to go to pottery classes and drink Negronis together while reading J.D. Salinger? As long as we don’t become Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, I’m on board.
This is progress for my romantic hopes and dreams, but apparently astrology means looking at the whole chart (which appears to me to be 10 – yes, 10 – planets, a Lilith placement, a North node, the Placidus house systems, and maybe more general house placements?). So what do the rest of both our — very, very complicated — astrology charts say about our potentially glowing future?
StyleCraze says my Scorpio rising is adept at luring his Pisces rising like a magnet. Apparently I’m “intimidating, concealed, and mysterious,” — lol, not really, but OK. Apparently “Pisces tend to get lost and, hence, need the support of an intense-headed Scorpio.” Well, I don’t think I’m particularly mysterious — I’d describe my style as “playful” and can’t seem to pull off the sexy siren look to save my life (yes, I’ve tried) — and I’m usually only intense while watching sports. Hmm…
While people always seem to talk about a person’s sun, moon, and rising signs, my Googling tells me there’s a fourth sign that’s crucial: the Venus sign, which relates to love, romance, desires, and pleasure. So if Andrew and I have a future, we have to be extra compatible here, right? (I have no idea. I’m actually asking.)
Well, we seem to be set here, as well. Hooray! I know Kim Kassas and Danielle Frankel have been killing the bridal fashion game lately; I guess I’ll have to mosey on down to a bridal boutique to try a dress (or six) on. CafeAstrology says our Venus signs (Pisces: me, Virgo: him) are a case of “opposites attract” and create a “magnetic combination.” I didn’t think I’d be one to change my name upon marriage, but Mrs. Garfield definitely has a nice ring to it. YourTango adds of our insane (my word) chemistry:
Nurturing, healing, and magnetic, a Virgo-Pisces pairing is the ultimate, down-home match-up. In other words, this is the couple that will make every other couple around them pale in comparison. …
If it’s possible, Virgo and Pisces Venus can have a “healthy obsession” with each other. Pisces’ compassion and penchant for attracting troubled souls mean Virgo has a safe space to be neurotic.
Virgo’s ability to stay realistic and practical means that Pisces has someone to keep him grounded when emotions run high.
My big takeaways from that are that I attract troubled souls (explains a lot, tbh) and have emotions that run high (yeah, that’s valid). Apparently, though, Andrew and I could have trouble ahead in our glistening future when he finds me evasive and gets annoyed at my refusal to define love, and we’ll need to work on moderation as the secret to finding balance in our relationship. (I’ve never been good at doing things in moderation, though…). That could be a slight hiccup in my happily ever after, but, don’t worry Andrew, I won’t give up on us just yet.
I tried to look up our synastry in regards to our rising and Venus signs, too, given that it seems to be important to him, but while I speak Spanish and Portuguese, “Astrology” might be too complicated a language for me to learn — I have absolutely no clue what “Moon sextile Ascendant” and “Mars square Ascendant” and “Sun conjunct Descendant” mean. Just like how I have no idea what it means that Zodiac Tropical is different from Zodiac Sidereel and that there are seven different house systems (Placidus, Equal House, Koch, Campanus, Regiomontanus, Topocentric, and Whole Sign). Help?
The last thing to do to cement our love story, of course, was to check in on his (known) ex-girlfriends to compare birth charts. Although, going down an Instagram spiral regarding the practically perfect Emma Stone wasn’t exactly good for my mental health or belief in our future. I mean, she’s Emma Freaking Stone, and as much as I love Andrew Garfield, I might actually love her more. None of his exes seem to have been that into astrology, so none of them have accurate rising signs, but from what I’ve gleaned from my newfound knowledge, none of them are even remotely compatible. See, Andrew? My cursory astrology knowledge already demonstrates my commitment to you. I can totally be better than Emma Stone (hahaha, what in my chart explains my being absolutely delusional?)
Maybe the fact that I’m the only Aquarius in there would be good for us? I mean, there’s a reason they’re exes…
Now, tell me a lemon wedding cake with elderflower frosting doesn’t sound divine.
Final Thoughts:
On what I’m reading: On my Kindle, I have three ARCs that will be published at the end of the month, so I’m oscillating among reading “Maame,” “Central Places,” and “Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun,” and all three are enjoyable thus far. (Yes, this is my reminder to myself that I need to pick up the pace here some.)
On what I’m watching: I binged all three seasons of PBS’ “Miss Scarlet and the Duke,” and I’m dying for even the tiniest bit of romantic interaction between the two leads. I think the network could reach all its fundraising goals if it promised a kiss if a certain amount was donated.
On what I’m listening to: I haven’t been able to run in ages due to plantar fasciitis, but I finally gave it a go this week when I was walking to Monsta X’s new song “Beautiful Liar” and decided it was a running song, not a walking song. (And it’s a fast running song, at that.) And, of course, the new song “Vibe” featuring Jimin is just that: a vibe. It may be Taeyang’s song, but it’s pretty clear who the star of the show is here.
Arsenal beat Tottenham in the North London Derby (sorry, Daddio), and as much fun as the game was, I can't stop thinking about this moment after the game, when coach Mikel Arteta had to go pull midfielder (and known hothead) Granit Xhaka away from a potential scrum at the touchline.
The Australian Open has started, so my sleep schedule is about to get completely screwed up. On the men’s side, I’ll be rooting for Rafa, as usual, but I’ll take any champion not named Novak Djokovic or Alexander Zverev. The women’s side feels pretty open this year, so I’m excited to see what Swiatek/Gauff/Jabeur/Garcia/Pegula/Sakkari/(insert basically any other name here) can do. Also, if you haven’t seen Frances Tiafoe’s new kit for the tournament, you must; it’s beyond iconic.
There have been two red carpets in a row — the Golden Globes and the Critics Choice Awards — where too many celebrities have come out on the red carpet without any necklaces. BRING BACK THE NECKLACE!